DMBATL News and Announcements

"Baseball is a fun game. It beats working for a living."

It ain't like football. You can't make up no trick plays."
-Yogi Berra-

Sam Spade Finds Missing Players!

(ATL Press, 01/18/06, Cy Kosis reporting)

The call went out to Harry Danning, Dale Murphy, Javy Lopez and Eddie Rommel that their services were needed, and free agent contracts with teams in the ATL were ready for their signature. The League Office processed all the pertinent paperwork, and stamped each contract with League Approval. Money for train tickets was wired out to each of the players, as well as instructions regarding joining their respective teams.

Usually this is simply passing news on the Free Agent Watch. But this time something happened -- nothing. None of the players showed up at the appointed time in the appointed city. Calls went out all over the League. The ATL Central Office was swamped with activity, and investigative journalism has uncovered that Detective Sam Spade was hired by the league office to find the errant ballplayers. The hard and shifty gumshoe rode the rails throughout the baseball heartlands and found the players carousing in a one-tavern, backwater town. The players were part of a tramp barnstorming troop headed up by the notoriously infamous disapearing artist, Babe Phelps. The team calls itself Babe's Barnstormers, and wanders the country by way of backlot ball diamonds and back-alley taverns, playing all comers for a share of the game profits or a night of free drinks. It was also revealed that Babe has been enticing other players to gallavant on the fringe of the baseball world with him. The ATL League Office is considering an official response to the issue.

All the players have since been corralled and sent on to their respective ATL teams.

"A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings."

-Earl Wilson-

Pittsburgh Native Takes Cleveland Helm

(ATL Press, 01/03/06, Cy Kosis reporting)

The Cleveland Spiders Professional Baseball Club bid farewell to their benefactor, Larry Schilling, and welcomed Sam Murgie as the franchise's new owner. Murgie, a Pittsburgh native, has made no secret he wants to move the team to Pittsburgh next year, and compete with the Pirates for the hearts and minds of all Pensylvanians. The Fanatic Fans for the Return of the Homestead Grays hope Sam Murgie puts the Homestead logo back into official ATL usage. However, it has been learned that the Pittsburgh Crawfords Grass Roots Fan Foundation is now a dark horse candidate for Murgie's attention. Whatever happens next year in Pittsburgh, the Cleveland fans hope Murgie can bring them a pennant this year before he takes the team away.

Commisioner Flubs League Opener!

(ATL Press, 01/01/06, Cy Kosis reporting)

A surprise news conference was held outside the All Time League offices today. The Commissioner, surrounded by a swarm of lawyers and a personal entourage reminiscent of both an accountant's nightmare and a 1920's Chicago 'outfit,' tried to hose down the firestorm created by the unprofessional delay of the league's second season opener. Aside from an irrational outburst earlier in the day nothing very coherent had been heard from the Commissioner. While his mouthpieces tried to bring order to the catcalls of fans and the angry questions of reporters, a once swaggering monarch of baseball was now reduced to a cowering, fidgeting shell of a man hiding behind the accoutrements of Office. An official statement was read by one of the more snappily dressed lawyers that expressed "deep regret for the delay of the league opener," that all blame rests solely on the League office, and not on any Franchise Owner as erroneously stated previously due to faulty intelligence. The statement also explained that the Commissioner had "done his best," "gave it his best shot," "it took a bad hop," "it was a sophomore jinx," and "the sun got in his eyes."

To wit, your intrepid reporter, the one and only Cy Kosis, shouted a question that drowned out all others: "You muffed an easy one, you did!" Ok, so it wasn't actually a question, but it got the Commisioner's attention and he stumbled to the microphone and stammered, "Being commisioner is hard work. Really hard work. Really, really hard work."

Just then a voice rang out from the back . . . I couldn't see but it sounded like the slur of ol' 'Word' Smith himself after a long, New Year's celebration: "Yeah but . . . ain't it supposed to be? Bush league error, that was."

Boston Changes . . .

(ATL Press, 12/27/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

Mikey G, the owner formerly known as Michael Gilbert, has decided that the Braves moniker for his new team, formerly known as the Beaneaters, doesn't fit into the spirit of the Boston scene he frequents. Rumour has it that Mikey G has been seen sporting a red derby at concerts of The Artist Formerly Known As Prince, and this is the real reason behind the name change. In an almost unprecedented move, the Commissioner has granted Mikey G's request for a new nickname for the team that is now formerly known as the Braves. The new name also unveils a new uniform, as the Boston Red Caps, I am informed, they will wear red caps and red shoes as their signature trademark. They say clothes make the man, but will a new name and uniform lift the team formerly known as the Beaneaters out of the cellar? Stay tuned for the 2006 ATL season!

Boston Moves to Boston

(ATL Press, 12/24/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

No, it is not an April Fool's joke. Hey wait, this is how I started the last news piece 8 months ago! It's been a crazy place around here with the team reporters coming and going as fast as the owners do. Over the last 8 months we regained Owner O'Brien back again in July, then in October we saw Owners Logan, Petronzi, Stillwagon and O'Brien depart, while Owners Timothy Laughrey & Michael Cabell joined us. In December 2005, Owner Rick Dean left, and Owners Jim Hekel, Andrew Ellis & Mikey Gilbert joined. That resulted in several changes to the league, including the Brooklyn Bridegrooms moving out to Los Angeles to be the Dodgers, having their owner abandon them in their new city and take over the reins of the recently ownerless Detroit ballclub, and then moving back to Brooklyn with the Dodgers moniker for a new owner.

In other Franchise News the Seattle Pilots became the Saint Louis Cardinals, the Cincinnati Reds became the Booston Red Sox in Fenway Park II 1934-01, the Chicago Cubs became the Houston Colt .45's in the Houston Astrodome 1965-99, the New York Mets became the new Chicago Cubs in Wrigley Field 1928-37, the Houston Astros became the Toronto Blue Jays in Exhibition Stadium 1977-88, the Homestead Grays became the Cincinnati Reds in Riverfront Stadium 1970-01, the old Toronto Blue Jays became the Mudville Nine in Goodwater Grove Diamond 2001-02, the Havana Leones became the Saint Louis Stars in Sportsman's Park 1920-66, the Keokuk Westerns became the Baltimore in Camden Yards 1992-01, the Washington Nationals moved into American League Park I 1901-03, and in the headline news, the Boston Beaneaters changed their nickname and ballpark, becoming the Braves in Braves Field 1928-41.

Twenty-four owners for twenty-four teams! The pre-season Annual Draft was a carnival of frenzied prize-winning, and the pre-season trading and free agent seasons were crowded with near-frantic roster changes. Controversy was sneaking about everywhere, hiding behind every team logo, waiting for the unwary to rest. Excitement, thy name is ATL! The 2006 season is almost upon us!

Boston Loses Caretaker

(ATL Press, 04/01/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

No, it is not an April Fool's joke. Boston is once again without an Owner. The most recent Caretaker Owner, Paul Dunn, had to leave the league due to unrelated issues. But this begins to establish a trend for the Boston club, that some may say is the manifestation of a curse for trading away Babe Ruth before the season even started. Whatever it is, Boston is not having a good season. Not able to maintain an Owner to give them direction, getting no help from the anemic lineup: Ralph Kiner .195, Eddie Murray .215, Wally Schang .237, Ken Singleton .245, Duke Snider .252, Maury Wills .266, Mike Moore .274 and Joe Morgan leading the pack at .280. Juan Marichal (10-2, 3.11, 5 CG, 1 Shu) is the brightest star on this club so far this season, but he can't do it alone. At 21 games behind Newark, these Beaneaters need a miracle to get into the Playoffs this season.

The commissioner will be caretaking the team until another Owner can be found.

Caretaker Comes to Boston

(ATL Press, 03/26/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

With Chad Logan missing in action the League Office authorized Paul Dunn to manage the day-to-day affairs of the Boston Beaneaters. Previously the ATL Commissioner was caretaking for the Boston franchise, and had been ever since Logan went on vacation in January. But when Dunn came to the League Office seeking a league franchise when none were available, the Commissioner saw an opportunity to extend a temporary caretaking position to him. Dunn readily accepted the offer. The Commssioner explained to reporters that if Logan could not be found, or chose to leave the league, Dunn would then become the owner of the Boston franchise. The Beaneaters are currently in last place in the Union League's Atlantic Division with a 32-44 record. Despite heroic pitching from Juan Marichal (8-2, 3.50), and superior play by leadoff man Joe Morgan (.285, 18 HR, 40 RBI, 63 Runs, 40 SB), the Beaneaters have not been able to pull things together. Especially disapointing has been cleanup batter Duke Snider (.235, 11 HR, 40 RBI), first baseman Eddie Murray (.217, 8 HR, 33 RBI), and left fielder Ralph Kiner (.179, 10 HR, 26 RBI). The Boston Boys seem to have been in a perpetual slump ever since their #1 Overall Pick in the draft, The Bambino himself, was traded away pre-season.

"Coaching third with a pitcher on base
is like being a member of a bomb disposal squad.
The thing could blow up in your face at any moment."

-Rocky Bridges-

The Maximum Leader is Overthrown!

(ATL Press, 03/25/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

The Havana ballclub is under new guidance, and the Maximum Leader has vowed to stay out of the clubhouse, instead campaigning to overthrow the imperialist Designated Hitter Rule. The new owner is a SABR member and longtime fan of the game, Steve Nathan. No immediate word was available on the direction Nathan would take the team, but the recent major injury to Alejandro Oms, the second this year, has to be a major concern to the new management. Oms was injured in a collision at home plate with Keokuk's catcher, Gary Carter. Oms had to be carried from the field and is expected to be out for 40 days, and Carter for 9. Nathan was upbeat about the takeover, and assured reporters his main concern right now was winning the South Division pennant. The hometown fans plan a warm and hearty Cuban welcome for the new owner after the team completes a short road trip to Washington D.C. to play the Homestead Grays.

"A lot of long relievers are ashamed to tell their parents what they do.
The only nice thing about it is that you get to wear a uniform like everbody else. "

-Jim Bouton-

Philadelphia Hitches a Ride With Stillwagon

(ATL Press, 03/21/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

The Philadelphia Athletics have been looking for a new Owner for some time. Craig Silvius, their present and now former owner, had become disenchanted with them and was spending more time with his other club, the Cincinnati Reds. Now the Philadelphia faithful will get a full time owner, one who has a long resumé of successful teams in other leagues: Greg Stillwagon. The franchise held a special Ownership Ceremony at Shibe Park before the June 16th game with Orix, when Stillwagon was introduced to the city. Stillwagon's press release indicates he is excited about the present mix of players on the roster, and looks forward to turning the Athletics into a powerhouse to challenge the Newark Eagles for dominance in the Union League's Atlantic Division. Rumours are already flying of extensive trade talks between Silvius and Stillwagon, and also of Stillwagon's predilection for sampling the talent pool of Negro League and Japanese ballplayers.

"Maybe they'll trade me for a bag of balls . . ."

-Bob Tewksbury-

Analyst Takes Over Reins in Chicago!

(ATL Press, 03/20/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

The Cubs of Chicago, in first place in the North Division of the Legends league, got a shock when they found out ownership has passed over to Matthew Rauseo of www.baseballanalysis.com fame. The Chicgo faithful weren't even finished celebrating overtaking the failing Toronto Blue Jays when news came that the team was being bought up by a baseball pundit. Mighty afraid of rocking the boat at a time like this, Cubbie cranks are uneasy about the change. One thing that is calming some nerves is the rumour that Ted Williams and Jackie Robinson have a lifetime contract with the Cubs as they are the personal favorites of Rauseo. However, there is still murmurs about Ernie Banks, Ryne Sandberg and Hank Aaron, all fan-favourites, and none of which has any gossip been forthcoming. One thing is certain, the Windy City and Rauseo will have plenty of time to get to know each other.

"A slick way to outfigure a person is to get him figuring you figure he's figuring you're figuring
he'll figure you aren't really figuring what you want him to figure you figure."

-Whitey Herzog-

New York Giants Get Jetsetter Owner!

(ATL Press, 03/19/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

The Giants of New York welcome the 21st Owner into the 24-team All Time League. George Southerland will be taking the helm, and rumour has it Southerland will be piloting the team long distance. The scoop is that Southerland is a rebel and maverick who in some ways forgoes the traditional to break new ground. It is reported that the Giants front office will likely not be seeing him stuck behind a desk in New York City during the sweltering summer. No, he's much more likely to be telegraphing in orders for lineup changes and rotation swaps from the cocktail lounge of his private jet as he jetsets across the globe, hobnobbing with stars. Distance is not an obstacle for Southerland, and though he may not be in the front office, he is very likely to have more of a hand in running his team than some other, more traditional Owners.

Back in the Polo Grounds, the players and coaches are all wondering what changes are coming dwn the pike. We attempted to get an interview with Stan "The Man" Musial, but the coaches are keeping a 'Locked Door' policy in effect regarding all sportswriters until they get the go-ahead from the new boss.

"We hit the ball right where they could show off their defensive ability."

-Earl Weaver-

San Francisco Welcomes New Owner!

(ATL Press, 03/15/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

The Seals front office underwent a thorough overhaul with the purchase of the team by the ATL's 20th Owner: Jon Brown. The Seals are a hot property, leading the Pacific Division of the Legends League for most of this inaugural season, and having such notables on the roster as Joe DiMaggio, .276, 20 HR 52 RBI, and newcomer Mickey Mantle, .283, 3 HR, 9 RBI (combined: .289, 8 HR, 45 RBI), as well as ace pitcher Christy Mathewson, 6-2, 2.80. The Seals faithful have enjoyed a good season so far, and are anxious about what the future holds. They look forward to the new management, and have pledged to give Mr. Brown their full support by putting their fannies in the seats and yelling their heads off.

The Seals will start the Brown Era with a three-game set against the Athletics of Philadelphia, before moving up the Atlantic coast to New York.

"Players like rules. If they didn't have any rules, they wouldn't have anything to break."
-Lee Walls-

Ebbets Field Gets a New Look!

(ATL Press, 03/14/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

The Brooklyn Briderooms welcomed a new owner to town by festooning Ebbets Field with pennants, flowers and bunting in the team's colors, royal blue, red, white and grey. John Bruyninckx, a longtime and loyal fan will be taking the helm of the Legends League East Division cellar dweller. At 27-34, the Bridegrooms are 11 1/2 games behind the front-runner, but Bruyninckx pledges to turn the team around. There are some bright spots Bruyninckx hopes to build upon, like outfielder Zack Wheat, currently hitting .301, as well as the indomitable Sandy Koufax, 4-3 2.95 , and the mesmerizing Andy Messersmith, 5-5 2.36.

Bruyninckx is having round the clock meetings to ease his takeover, and will assume day-to-day operations of the Brooklyn franchise beginning on 3/16/05. This makes 19 Owners for the ATL, one closer to the magic number of 24.

"My best pitch is anything the batter grounds, lines, or pops in the direction of Rizzuto."

New York Metropolitans Shift Gears!

(ATL Press, 02/13/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

"To see Ichiro hit is to be taken back almost a century."

New Owner In Keokuk!

(ATL Press, 01/28/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

" I told him I wasn't tired. He told me, 'No, but the outfielders sure are.'"

Washington Franchise Bought Out!

(ATL Press, 01/20/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

" Our fielders have to catch a lot of balls, or at least deflect them to someone who can."

Philadelphia Connects With Cincinnati!

(ATL Press, 01/15/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

The Legends League Cincinnati Reds baseball franchise has found a new owner today -- Craig Silvius, owner of the Union League's Philadelphia Athletics has taken over the reins of the midland ballclub. It has been uncovered that the recently abandoned franchise had been shopped around to prospective owners, both inside and outside the ATL. Reportedly there was almost a deal with a northern owner to take over, but technical problems delayed and eventually nixed the deal. It has been discovered that the Commissioner was actively taking part in the management of the Cincinnati club in the week that the club was without an owner. Lineups, farm assignments, rotations, sub roles and even trade talk and a nickname change for the Reds all passed over the Commssioner's desk. However no permanent changes were made. Silvius was given the lineups and rotations as a courtesy, but is fully expected to run the club with his own ideas and perspective. The transfer of ownership to Silvius is effective immediately. All trade negotiations should be routed to the Silvius offices, and the Commissioner has released to this reporter that he was passing on absolutely no binding agreements on any trade talks -- and only the barest of negotiations had been started. The Commissioner did say that he had hoped to sign Ken Griffey Senior and Harry Steinfeldt to the club as free agents, and had also held talks with agents for Gus Bell, Dummy Hoy, Leo Cardenas and Lee May, but that now all free agent decisions are to be made by the Silvius management. The Commissioner wishes Craig Silvius well with his new ballclub, and thanks him personally for stepping up and assuming responsibility for the Concinnati club.

"I only have trouble with fly balls."

-Carmelo Martinez-

Franchise Goes Free Agent!

(ATL Press, 01/08/05, Cy Kosis reporting)

The Cincinnati Reds baseball franchise lost its owner a day before the first ever ATL Exhibition Season came to a close. The League was informed that the Cincinnati franchise owner, Mike Bush, regrettably is forced to resign his position because of off-field committments. The League is saddened by Bush's decision, but fully understands that some things are more important than simulation baseball (not many, but a few).

That opens the door wide for a new owner to come into the League, or for one of the single-team owners from the Union League to take this orphaned Legends League ballclub under their wing. This is a powerful Cincinnati team that features such notables as Jimmy "Double-XX" Foxx, Shoeless Joe Jackson, Bucketfoot Al Simmons, Tris Speaker, Rollie Fingers and Josh Gibson. The new owner would have the choice of playing this season in Griffith Stadium or Forbes Field. Next year an additional option for the new owner will be to stay with this year's location or to construct Greenlee Field. Normally owners must stay with a ballpark for at least five years before changing, but new owners can change the ballpark during their first off-season.